


New Beginings

by Diva0789



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-21
Updated: 2011-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-24 19:56:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/267272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diva0789/pseuds/Diva0789
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan and Duke have a history. After ‘Harmony’, Nathan feels the need to apologize for his behavior and a few unpleasant things from their history are brought up. Then, after Jeff dies…Nathan realizes he needs to make things right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Beginings

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever slash fic, so be gentle please. LOL. Also, I’m new to the Haven fandom…hopefully my characterizations aren’t too far off the map. The first time I saw this show I thought ‘Jesus, Duke and Nathan have a serious UST problem’. This is the result of a marathon of episodes 1 through 4. (Yay for OnDemand!)
> 
> Enjoy!

~*~

Contrary to what the townspeople think, he can actually feel. His nervous system is perfectly normal, nothing wooden or robotic about it. The problem is actually in the receptors in his brain, hence his ridiculous love affair with MRIs. So, he can feel pleasure and he has emotions, he just can’t feel pain.

Duke was Nathan’s only friend growing up. No one was deliberately mean to him but he’d been shunned or whispered about everyday since he was seven years old. He hadn’t told Aubrey about the worst of it, just said he’d gotten better; and he had - after two years. During that time Duke was the only bright spot in his life. Duke was a year younger than himself but he’d seemed old beyond his years. His home life left a lot to be desired. Behind the charm and big smile Duke was just as haunted as Nathan was, he was just better at hiding it.

When he’d gotten better they’d drifted apart a little but Nathan had always known that if he’d needed him Duke would be there. Duke always loved the water, could often be found there day or night, and Nathan had fond memories of wandering down there and just sitting in silence and watching him. There had always been a sort of calm about Duke when he was in the water.

When he was 16 Nathan’s mother had died and he’d felt…numb. If he’d cried those first few weeks after her death he didn’t remember it. He’d walked around in a daze until after a spectacular argument with his father, he’d cut himself for the first time. He’d been grief-stricken and he remembered feeling like he must not be human. So, he’d cut himself just to see if he’d bleed. He didn’t do it every day, or every week. Just when he started to wonder again whether he was real or not. It went on for months before he got caught.

He’d been in the boys locker room after football practice. He’d taken a hit on the field and he’d heard the whispers when he got back up immediately. He’d waited until everyone else was gone and then cut a two inch line on his inner thigh - and then Duke had walked in. He’d been pissed, calling Nathan a moron and taking the razor away from him. It had been the look of fear on Duke’s face that had made Nathan stop hurting himself. In the months following, Duke had stuck pretty close and Nathan had never wanted to see that look on his face again. Duke never told anyone about that day.

When graduation came Duke made plans to work on a fishing boat and Nathan went away to college. They didn’t see each other for almost ten years after that.

Nathan had graduated and then gone to the police academy. He’d returned to Haven and worked under his father for a few years. He’d dated a few people in that time but it had never lasted more than a month or two.

And then Duke had floated into port and Nathan had been struck stupid by how…beautiful Duke was. They’d resumed their friendship but there had been a new layer to their interaction and Nathan had been intoxicated. It had only taken them a few weeks to fall into bed together and Nathan couldn’t remember having ever been happier. All had not been sunshine and roses, however. Because of Nathan’s job and his father, he’d been adamant that their relationship be private. Duke had been understanding right up until Nathan had lost his temper and accused Duke of cheating on him with some tourist.

Before they could work through it Nathan had been given reason to believe that Duke had been a part of criminal activity and after one tense fight, that had been that.

For months their every meeting had ended in harsh words and dark looks - and then Audrey had come to town and shaken things up.

After dealing with the Reverend and then catching…whatever after the mental hospital thing and attacking Duke, Nathan felt a little…off.

He knew he needed to apologize to Duke for assaulting him so he headed down to the docks and made his way to Duke’s ship.

“Ah, what can I do for you, Officer?” Duke asked from his chair on the deck.

“I’m not here on official business, Duke,” Nathan said quietly.

Duke’s eyes sharpened on his for a long moment before an ugly smirk spread across his face.

“You’ve been pretending for months that the only thing between us is official business, Nathan. What’s changed?”

Nathan looked away, his jaw clenching briefly, “I wanted to apologize for hurting you today, Duke.”

The look on Duke’s face earlier would haunt him. It was almost exactly what he’d looked like in the locker room that day.

“And what about all the other times, Nathan? Are you apologizing for those too?”

Nathan’s gaze snapped back to Duke’s , his back stiffening in a familiar anger.

“You lied to me, Duke. Not the other way around,” he ground out.

Duke snorted rudely, “You still telling yourself that, Nathan?”

“It’s the truth. You’re a criminal, Duke.”

“Bullshit, Nate. You know me better than that, or at least you should.”

“You never denied it,” he snapped.

“Did you give me a chance?” Duke demanded, shooting up from his seat.

“You’ve had plenty of time since then,” he said shortly.

“What the fuck ever, Nathan. If you’ve finished, get the hell off my ship.”

A growing sensation in his gut had him jerking forward a few steps, getting in Duke’s face.

“I’m not finished. You don’t get to bring all this back up and then walk away pretending to be the victim,” he growled.

Duke shoved him back a few steps, “You’re an asshole, Nathan. I was in love with you but you never trusted me. That bullshit just gave you an excuse to leave without feeling guilty. Wouldn’t want your daddy to know you were a fag, huh Nathan?”

Nathan gripped Duke’s shirt in his fists and slammed him bodily against the bulkhead before getting in his face, “You knew going into it that we’d have to be quiet about it. You’re the one who fucked that tourist, Duke,” he said lowly, “Another thing you never denied.”

Duke struggled briefly before barking out a bitter laugh, “There was never anyone else, Nate. Not ever. You stupid fucker, all I could see was you.”

Duke’s blue-green eyes were dark with temper and remembered pain and Nathan was helpless against his words.

He leaned in and sealed his mouth over Duke’s, deepening it when Duke opened helplessly. He got lost in Duke’s taste for several minutes, his body pressed from shoulder to thigh against the younger mans. Christ, but he ached for what Duke could make him feel. Duke’s hands grasped his shirt over his lower back and tugged, getting his hands on Nathan’s skin and Nate could only moan helplessly into Duke’s mouth as he ground his hips against Duke’s. He was hard and throbbing in his jeans, his body desperate for the sensations only Duke had ever brought out in him.

Duke ripped his mouth from Nathan’s and swore when the older man immediately went for his throat, “Fuck, Nate. Please. Don’t stop,” he groaned desperately.

In response, Nate shifted enough to shove his thigh between Duke’s giving his lover a place to thrust and gripped Duke’s ass to guide him into a rhythm.

Duke whimpered as he rode Nate’s thigh, his cock leaking in his pants. He gripped Nate’s ass in one hand to pull him closer and the other buried in his hair wanting more of Nate’s sinful mouth. He was shaking, his body so desperate for Nathan’s touch that already he was close to coming in his pants.

He was babbling, he knew he was. Begging and swearing and moaning Nate’s name. He pressed his lips to Nate’s ear as his climax approached and moaned, “So close, baby. Please,” he whimpered again as the head of his cock became super sensitive in the seconds before his orgasm, “Please let me come?”

“Come,” Nathan growled against Duke’s throat, biting down hard as his lover jerked and called his name as he climaxed against his thigh. He sucked and lapped gently at the darkening mark under his lips as Duke relaxed back into his embrace. He was so hard he knew he’d feel pain if he was anyone else but he wanted desperately to be buried inside Duke’s tight heat when he came.

When Duke shifted against him lazily Nate pulled back to lick into his mouth again, kissing him deeply. Duke fisted Nate’s hair briefly before forcing his hand to relax. He knew what he wanted, he just wasn’t sure if Nate was on the same page.

“What do you want, baby?” he murmured against Nate’s lips.

Nate groaned and jerked helplessly against Duke’s hip before getting control of himself, “I want to fuck you,” he muttered hoarsely.

Duke nodded, “We can do that. Come on, Nate. Lubes in the bedroom.”

Nate reluctantly pulled back and let Duke lead the way to his cabin.

As soon as the bulkhead door was shut Nate was tugging at his clothes, his eyes on Duke doing the same. He knows this is a bad idea. There is still so much anger and distrust between them; nothing is resolved and this can only make it worse but he can't help himself. Duke is the only thing Nathan has ever needed and he can’t stop himself from taking what he needs more than anything right now.

Nate doesn’t let himself hesitate to admire Duke’s body in case reason reasserts itself, instead he tumbles Duke down onto his bed and presses his lips to the ones beneath him.

A few moments later a thin tube is pressed into his hands and he drags his lips over Duke’s throat, pausing at the mark he left a few minutes ago and again at his nipples before sitting back on his heels. He slicks two fingers and watches Duke’s face as he rubs gently at his opening before pressing inside with one finger.

When he adds the second Duke hisses briefly before relaxing into the mattress with a moan as his prostrate is rubbed deliciously by Nate’s fingers. He spreads his legs wider, begging mutely to be filled. After another moment Nate complies, accepting the condom Duke passes him and putting it on quickly before slicking his cock with the lube. He wipes his hand on the sheet and then grips Duke’s hips, presses the head of his cock to Duke’s entrance and, after a brief hesitation, slips in slowly.

Duke moaned at the burn and stretch, he wasn’t kidding earlier when he said there hadn’t been anyone else since Nate and he was definitely feeling it but he didn’t want Nate to stop so he bore down until he was filled completely.

Nate had ground his teeth together to stop himself from moaning loudly at the feel of Duke surrounding his cock so tightly, but once he was buried to the hilt he hissed out a breath before shifting over Duke’s prone body, nearly bending Duke in half to reach his mouth.

Duke wrapped his legs around Nate’s hips and urged him gently, shifting his hips against Nate’s and whispering, “Nate, please.”

Nate moaned and then pulled out slowly, barely pausing before slamming back into the haven of Duke’s body.

Duke groaned appreciatively and clutched at Nate’s shoulders as Nate developed a punishing rhythm. He arched sharply and cried out when Nate’s cock tagged his prostate, the pleasure sharp and almost overwhelming.

After so long a separation neither man lasted. Within minutes they were both shuddering and groaning in climax.

~*~

Duke made his way slowly down the dock, the keys to ‘Second Chance’ feeling heavy in his hand. His heart ached from Jeff’s loss, the guilt that he figured would never go away, and the knowledge that even after their night together Nate still wouldn’t see him as he was.

He’d fallen asleep in Nate’s arms that night but had woken cold and alone. He hadn’t seen or heard from Nathan until that morning in the restaurant and the first thing out of his mouth had been a snide reference to Duke’s supposed criminal activity.

While he hadn’t been a saint in the ten years he’d been away from Haven, he’d never crossed any of his personal lines. He might fudge some permits and the like but he never smuggled drugs or weapons or people, and he never would. He hadn’t even been tempted.

It bothered him that even with Jeff’s death, Nate was still pushing, trying to blame all his shortcomings on Duke. Duke understood that most of the questions had needed to be asked if they were going to find out what had happened to his best friend so he hadn’t protested, but where Audrey had been professional and sympathetic, Nate had been almost hostile.

He glanced up and froze when he saw Nathan leaning against his ship, his hands shoved in his pockets.

“Duke,” Nate said softly, “You okay?”

Duke couldn’t repress the snort, but he managed to refrain from calling Nate on his abrupt personality shifts. Nate had always been moody when they were kids, the only difference was he’d stopped letting Duke in, stopped letting Duke try to understand.

He said nothing as he jumped on the deck and made his way back to his bedroom. He was aware of Nathan following but he ignored him as he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his jacket and shirts. He set the deed on his nightstand and sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the keys in his hand.

He had no idea what he was going to do with the restaurant. He wanted to honor Jeff and Ben, but at the same time he knew next to nothing about being a property or business owner. He just hoped he could make Jeff proud.

“What’s that?” Nate’s voice came from beside him as he sat carefully on the mattress beside Duke.

“I figured Audrey must have told you,” he murmured, “Ben gave me the deed to the restaurant. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the place.”

“So, that’s what she was grinning about earlier,” he spoke quietly.

Duke felt a smile curve his lips briefly, but then he sighed; he was suddenly exhausted.

“What do you want, Nate? I don’t think I can go another round with you.”

“I’m sorry,” Nathan murmured, “I know I was out of line today.”

Duke shook his head, unable to think of anything to say.

Nate continued, “I wanted to tell you something. You were right in a way, about me pushing you away. It wasn’t because I was ashamed of us, though, Duke. I’ve never needed anyone before, even my parents. I eventually learned to live without the affection everyone else had. Decided I didn’t need my father’s approval to make me happy. You…scared the shit out of me Duke.”

Duke turned and stared in surprise, “What? Why?”

“I need you, babe. You became my whole world pretty fucking quickly. I never thought of myself as possessive before but I saw you that day with that tourist and it pissed me off that I couldn’t walk over there and kiss you, just because. I almost did it anyway.”

“And that scared you? Wanting to show everyone?”

“No. What scared me is I knew how my father would react, the people in town, and I didn’t care. I almost risked my job and my father’s grudging respect just so I could stake a claim on you. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I wanted my shield, Duke. Not ever. Until you.”

Duke swallowed hard at the intensity of Nate’s response. He’d never for even a second expected this.

“So, you knew I never cheated? That I wasn’t a criminal?”

Nate winced, “I talked myself into believing it for a while, but seeing how hurt you were toady. Watching you mourn Jeff made me realize how much of an ass I was being. You might not have the respect for the law that I do, but then, very few people do,” he finished with a small smile.

Duke laughed a little, before sobering.

“So, what does this mean? What do you want, Nate?”

“I want you, “ he replied immediately, “If I have to grovel until you trust me again then I will. I just…really want to be with you again, Duke.”

Duke stared as he thought about it. Seeing Nate again everyday. Falling asleep with him. Waking with him. Making love. Yes, he wanted it. But could he forgive all the hurtful words from the last few months?

“I want you too,” he murmured hesitantly,” I never stopped. But…I don’t know if I can forget…” he trailed off.

Nate curved his palm against Duke’s cheek and Duke couldn’t help but lean into the caress.

“Will you let me try to earn your trust again? Let me make it up to you?”

Duke took a deep breath and then jumped over the metaphorical cliff, “Yeah. Yeah, Nate. I’ll let you make it up to me.”

Nate leaned in for a slow, chaste kiss and then he pulled back.

“Can I stay?”

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Yeah, babe. I promise.”

“Then, yes. You can stay.”

Everything wasn’t fixed. There were wounds that needed healing and still some things that they needed to talk about, but it was a start.

~Finis~

**Author's Note:**

> So, I pretty much made up the crap about Nathan’s disease and I’m aware that this leads heavily into AU territory, but it’s what I had in my head after viewing the eps as a possible explanation for the friction between Duke and Nathan. My next fic should be more lighthearted. Unbeta’d because I don’t have a slash beta. Spell check is pretty much it. :D


End file.
